In our English learnign today we have been focusing on an initial sentence for our piece of writing and how we are engaging the reader.
We have shared our thinking adn assisted each other in making improvements.
A 12 year old boy, Liam Digby, and Florida were in a car showroom. Marcus
I wanted the reader to know how old he was, and to know more about him
A 12 year old boy, Liam Digby was up in space telling the story of his life. Richey
The reader will know what he is doing. To improve this more descriptive language could be put in the sentence.
A 12 year old boy, named Liam, and his buddy is named Florida she is 11 years old she is mischievous and regular. Isaac
To improve this sentence Isaac could put some further detail about Liam. We have discussed that this is not quite a sentence because there is no action happening – a verb needs adding.
Look out later in the week when we will post some more of our sentnces and hopefully you will be able to see improvements.